Felt less bad today than yesterday or the day before.
Slept in (disturbed sleep of course, also I went to bed early). Showered like an hour and a half after waking up. Ate lunch (and played bass a bit?). Eventually made it out the door. The itch started around when I got to my office so I very uncomfortably walked over to target to get aloe vera gel. Went back to my office and it mostly wasn't too bad. Sat around, went downstairs to play Catan. Lost. Hung around my office until institute time. Itch got pretty bad but not overwhelmingly so.
Institute was fine, got a t-shirt out of it. On the way home the itch got really bad. Unbearably bad. I felt like I want to die (this happens every few years; the itch, not wanting to die which as we all know is a bit more frequent). Got home, stripped down and threw myself into the shower. Hot water is basically the only thing that dulls the pain and even that is temporary. Realized I forgot my towel, so did a leap of shame and got back just in time for the pain to come back. Stood in the shower some more. Eventually ran out again to get ibuprofen and take that. Showered more. Eventually calmed enough to apply aloe. Didn't really want to do anything except lay in bed, in case the itch came back. Eventually subsided enough to halfheartedly cook dinner (grilled cheese, my appetite really isn't back). Went back to bed. Didn't do this because I didn't want to risk triggering an itch attack. Luckily didn't happen.
Like I said, moodwise I feel a bit better, but I'm still clearly anhedonic. Maybe the pain was distracting enough?
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