I woke up before my alarm from a weird dream. Weird enough for me to write down but not for public eyes. All I'll say is that depression aside, my subconscious seems to be giving me a hard time about my reluctance to ask the question.
Let my alarm go for one snooze and was out the door by 730. So running about 10 minutes late but ended up only arriving like 2 minutes late. Maintained a 9:30 pace today. Getting faster and faster. Hung out a while (we talked shop and life). Went to my office, grabbed my towel and took a shower at the gym. Ate lunch (I was quite hungry at that point). Didn't really go grade like I should have.
Played Catan and ate watermelon. Wandered around for a bit. Finally went back to grade. Was grading and started feeling bad. That sickly sort of depression, rather than just sleepy and unmotivated. Slowly finished grading and kept feeling bad. I didn't cry but got kinda close. I decided to write about my feelings.
Forced myself to go to institute. I worked through it (and didn't participate much) but it was nice to work with people around me because it made me feel more accountable, in a way. Plus I didn't feel quite so bad, so it was easier to do what I was doing.
Left pretty much immediately after institute ended. Didn't stick around to socialize. I realized near the end of institute I forgot to eat dinner before going over to the church. Got home and eventually forced myself to make dinner. I ate and have been lying in bed ever since, trying to write this. I don't feel as bad as I did this afternoon but I don't feel good, or even okay. I'll brush my teeth and then go to sleep for real.
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