Pre-Summer Day 13

Weird thing that happened after writing yesterday's entry and biking home. It was raining ever so slightly and then bam, I feel something go past my fast and hear it hit the ground. It looked like someone had through a cup of ground ice at me. Which was bizarre for many reasons, including that there was no one around. Even weirder, it happened again like maybe half a mile away from where it was the first time. Must've been weird hail, but that doesn't explain why it was so clumpy or why it was going fast and from a strange direction.  

I slept for about 7 hours and I think I slept the whole way through, unusually. Of course, I didn't go to bed till 1230 or so which is pretty bad considering I'd been up about 19 hours by that point. By 8 I was out of bed, went downstairs to throw my swim stuff in the washing machine and start cooking. I made a vegan variant of Efo Riro for the ward potluck and it turned out really well. I finished up just in time to catch a ride to church and so I quickly got dressed and did that. Since I had lots of time to kill, I made cute little placards explaining the food (emphasizing it was spicy, I even drew little scotch bonnets on them). And I wandered around the church a whole bunch. Eventually I set up a single chair in the overflow and read but I was fidgety the whole time.

Church went fine. Between meetings I headed over to the kitchen and ran into bishop and his wife and ended up telling them that I am depressed and hoping to start treatment soon. Which was kinda weird but it also felt right? Potluck went well, the soup was nearly completely gone by the end of it despite being spicier than many people can handle (wimps). Of course that's partially because we had really low contribution this month; I think I might have been the only person other than Bishop and his family to bring a main course. Maybe one of two people.

Went home, took a brief nap and then decided to go to my office to work. Took a while to actually work but I did grade another assignment. Now I'm only like 3 behind (as of now, because one was due tonight). I'll get them tomorrow. Went home, cleaned up the kitchen and here I am eventually writing this.

I didn't feel too horrible today. Not compared to yesterday at least. I don't feel good mind you, especially not this morning. I'm certainly still low mood, anhedonic (I didn't eat breakfast, barely ate much at the potluck and didn't eat dinner till 1030 and didn't really want that) and just feel bad. But not horrible. And I'm still pretty energetic and irritated/agitated even if I was more or less able to control/hide it today. I could probably stay up for another few hours easily but I'm going to try to force myself to go to bed soon. I've also decided that I'm going to try to switch my schedule (which I know needs to be more regular) to have a 7am wake up on the regular. That way when I'm having trouble getting out of bed it doesn't cut into my day as much and early mornings won't be as disruptive to my schedule. We'll see how well this works. It's going to take a lot of self discipline.