Got up a little after 7 to go running at the boardwalk. It was cloudy and not too hot but very humid (rain all night) which made it a bit miserable. Also I ran it at a slightly slower pace than before. Saw a gorgeous goldfinch though. Came home, showered, got dressed, ate an early lunch and got a ride to church because I didn't want to deal with humidity.
Church was fine. I sat in on a lesson with the missionaries before it. I got another confirmation that I was always meant to be here (still don't know why). Spoke quite a bit in Elder's quorum. The first part was about the crucifixion, which I of course have a lot of thoughts about (and even referenced this blog, though I didn't read from it). The second part was about a talk (of course) but we ended up spending a good deal of time on the question of "How does Jesus help you when you are feeling hopeless?" I have a lot of thoughts about this, but my main one is that I can't really explain the mechanics. The phenomenology of Jesus's support can't be explained. But I do know that he does and he will. And that is sometime what carries me through the abyss.
Stopped at the quarry on the way home, the woodchips have been moved away from the main face so it is climbable again. Got home, sat around. Read some theology of sorts. Spent basically all evening and I guess night doing that. And thinking about my last post. And also this one. So pretty unproductive but that's okay.
I feel fine. And tired. It's been like a week now so I think it's safe to say that depressive episode is over. Oh and my appetite does seem to pretty much be back. I think. And just desires in general.
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