Ahh I'm so late

Between a terrible sleep schedule (basically all my fault), internet problems and other such things, I've been not keeping a diary well. So here's just the important things in no particular order.

DnD was like 90% improv and now the Empire and the Merchants' Guild hate our adventurers. 

We had an office potluck on Friday which I was sort of in charge of and in the end it went well (even if there were way more people than expected). I made misir wat for it, which turned out amazingly. As part of that, I made my own niter kibbeh and berbere, got a spice grinder (since I have so many whole spices now). I also made timatim for the ward potluck, which I called "Ethiopian Salsa" because that's how I roll.

It's cooled down a lot, which is nice. I've still been doing some running and also some very fast biking to work on cardio/endurance. In fact, I did a ride the other day to a game night where I average like 4:10 per mile (and that's with stops). Maps said plan for 45 minutes and I did it in like 33. Legs have been assigned for Ragnar and I'll be doing the last shift (which is like the 3rd longest/hardest). 17.5 miles. Then I'm gonna go camping with the other grad students on the trip up in the UP. Get home Tuesday and then basically go right into prepping for my trip, since I leave that Thursday. 

Speaking of my trip, I've gotten my flights mostly figured out and a couple different hostels booked. I still need to contact the place in Tentena for more information about transport (and booking a guide for Lore Lindu), figure out Tanah Toraja (but finding a hostel should be pretty easy) and basically figure out all my bus/housing issues in Flores. Also find a place for my suitcase in Jakarta. I'm still mostly winging this trip, which should be exciting and also very stressful (in a good way). Finally, Walgreens has been really slow at filling my vaccine order but when I called today the robot said it should be ready by tomorrow.

Speaking of tomorrow, I need to get up early to do laundry, finish up dishes and do some work before going to lunch and then coming back to finish planning our session (it's exploration but I also want to use it to forward one of my plot threads). So a busy day, especially since I'm behind on work and need to get a presentation ready by next Monday (though the full presentation isn't needed for another two weeks).

Finally, the other big events of the past week. On Friday, an investigator (this one) texted me asking if I'd say the closing prayer at his baptism. After the baptism he sent out a very nice text to everyone who participated saying that he invited us to be part of the ceremony because we were all important in his faith journey. Then I woke up the next day to a text from the missionaries saying that he wanted me to confirm him. Which was a huge honor (and I even ironed a shirt and wore a suit coat for it) but very scary. Unlike basically every other blessing, this one is public and that makes me very self conscious. But I did it and while it was a bit of a struggle at first, by the end words that felt right were flowing out. So I hope he appreciated it. Anyway, that was the last Sunday that Bishop is bishop (next week is stake conference and the week after that he's being released) and since I will be gone until the end of October (due to camping after the race) I really need to reach out and thank him for being a great bishop. 

Two final things. After the baptism I was talking with people and the concert we were all planning to go to was cancelled. Which somehow turned into a discussion of karaoke and me hosting karaoke night...that night. Which I did. I had a two computer set up (one connected to the tv and one for adding songs to the playlist) and it was a lot of fun. I even got to hook up my computer to my new speakers (after a bit of struggle). And today, while heading home, I saw a kingfisher. First it was flying and then it went into a tree and then it took off as I was trying to get a picture. I love kingfishers, too bad they are so hard to photograph. 

Last notes. Like I said, I've been sleeping pretty poorly. Well the sleep is fine, I've just been going to bed way too late and either getting up early or oversleeping. So not a great schedule. I do wonder if I'm (mildly) hypomanic right now or have been recently. That feeling of wanting to be productive and not sleep (though I feel tired in a way that I didn't get at say the camp out). Being really antsy/agitated. But not really euphoria or even irritation/anger (I think?). Nor am I anxious (maybe because I have nothing to be anxious about...ever since getting an answer to the question I've been avoiding thinking about those sorts of social situations). So who knows.

Dog Days 41 and 42

So Saturday. I overslept (or rather went back to sleep after my alarm, forgetting why I had an early alarm in the first place) but still managed to get to brunch on time (averaged a 12 mph and since it was cool in the morning, I barely broke a sweat). Brunch was nice. Apparently the place was owned by Albanian immigrants and I had an Albanian lamb sausage platter. Good to hang out with people. On my way home, I stopped at my sisters house since she wanted help finding Walmart. So we hooked up the bike rack to the car and took our bikes over to my house then went shopping. After Walmart we went to home depo for light bulbs. Returning home we put together my new record player (still working to get everything balanced right to stop skipping, also to get better sound quality) and I made some adjustments to her bike. Then we biked over to the capitol for a food festival. Wandered around with other people from the ward and ate lots of food. I got rendang (not spicy enough), some brisket (not juicy enough), a cheese donut (very good, make pick up the frozen version some time) and various other things. Got a ride back with my roommate and that was basically that. Oh, we hung out for a while longer before my sister went home. Stayed up too late (like 3).

I slept in today, which was fine because I wasn't running in the morning. Regular Sunday morning. Sacrament meeting went well. Sunday school was pretty boring. After church my sister and I went over to my place (after stopping at hers to pick up cash) and then with one of my roommates went over to another city to pick up a table/desk for her. Dropped it off at her house and then hung out at my place for a few hours. She went home, I made dinner and then did a run. It was very hot, but since the sun was already going down and the humidity was low, it honestly didn't feel too bad. I still sweated a lot though (I weighed in two pounds less than this morning and that was after drinking a bunch and eating dinner). The route was almost exactly 5 miles so I set a 45 minute timer. I took my 48 minutes (so a 9:37 or so pace) which was really disappointing. I know that the conditions were not ideal and this route is hillier than some of my other routes (also all I'd eaten was a burrito an hour before), but this is basically what I did last week except half as long and without the morning run or 20 miles of bike riding. Anyway, after showering I watched the last two episodes of the new superman tv show. I'm really liking this show, shame the season is only 10 episodes. They build the plot and characters well and I like where it is going. Then I accidentally took a very short nap and here I am. Except I keep getting distracted by cleaning (there's a leak in our basement that needs frequent cleanings when the ac runs heavy...like right now; also I think I finally unclogged our sink) which I don't like since bursts of semi productivity like this can be a sign of hypomania. Or maybe not. It's hard to tell. There would be something poetic about the traditional summer starting with extreme depression and ending with hypomania but I really hope that isn't the case. Why can't I get the happy hypomanias? (At least if this is a hypomania coming on, I'm not depressed so hopefully no mixed episode).

I have two potlucks this week. For my ward potluck I signed up to make a tomato mixture (we're trying out theming), so I'll make Timatim. With that in mind, I guess I'll do a wat for the office party, probably a misir wat. Keep the theming going.

Dog Days 36, 37, 38 and 39

It's been cool but it's about to get hot again. Also summer is quickly shifting to fall (astronomically speaking). I've been busy but also lazy, mostly lazy.

Anyway, can't remember what I did Monday. Went to work, certainly. Oh, actually got an email asking if the tables were ready (they were not). Did some review for my advisor. That's about it in the morning. In the evening went with my sister to pull out FHE, which ended up being playing Smash Bros with the kids (who'd just gotten it for their birthday). Went out home and yeah, that seems about it.

Tuesday, I only went to work to meet with my advisor before he went back to Japan. So that went fine (I finally told him about my trip and he's going to help set up a meeting with potential collaborators and also we'll meet up in Tokyo). Oh I think Tuesday was the day I learned that my workstay would probably fall through (the profile was locked for some reason) and so I decided to go crazy with my newfound week. While not getting to see Lake Matano will be disappointing, I found that the Pelni ship from Makassar to Larantuka will be leaving on just the right day, so I have a chance to do a interisland boat trip like I've been wanting to do for years (this one is only 29 hours) and then visit Flores like I've also wanted to do for a long time. I'll take buses across the island, planning about 5 days for that. The highlight will be Kelimutu (since I won't have time to do Komodo justice and Labuan Bajo/Komodo is relatively easy to get to compared to the other cities I'm planning on visiting) but also just wandering all sorts of different towns and cultures (I need to find my hiking Flores book, not that I'll be doing many hikes). Anyway, it's time to get my tickets to Palu, the boat ticket to Larantuka and then contact the hotel in Tentena to figure out transportation and a guide to Lore Lindu/Bada Valley. So figuring out all of that was exciting.

After meeting my advisor, I went shopping to get food for Thursday. Then I went home and started prepping for DnD. I was homebrewing some enemies, which is new for me. Anyway, I was planning for 5 people (since that's who soft RSVP'd). We ended up having 8; two who didn't RSVP but I though might come and one who was a (welcome, to be clear) surprise. So I just doubled the enemies and cancelled the second/third fights. Was very chaotic, I knocked out a couple of the PCs and kept forgetting I had multiattacks and readied actions. Also forgot which enemies I was going to have target who, though that's more in character (they were all of average intelligence, despite being gnomish pirates). Anyway, it was fun (especially making an extensive backstory for a throwaway NPC because people kept asking questions) but a lot and I need to start enforcing the sign-up sheet. Oh and I broke yet another charger (this time it was my fault), so I had to rush to the library to borrow one. After a bit of debate, I decided I will get at least one more charger, so I can finish some Šyþed Pyklez songs and back up this computer in a windows readable way. Eventually I'll get a new Mac too.

Wednesday was very nice, chilly even. Got up at 7 for an 8 o'clock run, our final pace was like 9:40 despite taking it very easy. Hung out, showered, went to lunch and then went to donate blood (wasn't planning on it, but the rewards were good). Couldn't donate since my hemoglobin was still too low despite taking a 6 month break by this point. Might want to get that checked out. Anyway, that's my last chance till like February since I'll be on the travel deferment list after this trip. Played Catan (lost badly, the rolls just weren't in my favor despite good positions), waited around for institute. Looked at entry level record players just for fun. Learned that Labor Day sales were already in progress and decided to get a well reviewed player that came with speakers (that don't have to be used with the player) and vinyl recording capabilities (I also got the backpack I was wanting for 60 bucks cheaper than planned, I guess procrastination helped for once. And a bunch of other swag). I've been spending a lot of money, but like my investments are doing well enough, I'm making more than enough money to survive (even with all these extra expenses I'm still saving a bit every month) and why not treat myself? Half these purchases are long term investments anyway (backpack, travel towel, hiking sandals etc). 

Thursday I went into the office because I was supposed to make an appearance for new student orientation lunch. I also got an email from Exploding in Sound Records about bandcamp friday and how they're doing a 1-day only sale tomorrow on 6 different albums (6 bucks each). That's a great deal, I like the label and shipping is lower with a lot of albums, so I plan on getting 5 of them tomorrow (I already own the last one)...there's also a couple more albums I might as well buy tomorrow while it is bandcamp friday. After lunch I hung out a bit and then got the new department t-shirt (and sticker). Gotta wear that tomorrow. Went home and made bipimbap for the missionaries. I did manage to get that sweet taste on the meat and cooking the carrots and mushrooms in the meat sauce/fat was an excellent idea (I'm most happy about how the mushrooms turned out, they were delicious). Anyway, fed them (and my sister and both my roommates) and then my sister and I talked awhile about life and logistics (car insurance...should probably be in my name because I get better quotes being over 25, health insurance, money (she actually gets paid like $3 an hour more than me, though she also has to work more) etc). Then got around to doing this (and some dishes). 

Other things of note. I saw a green heron today. Wednesday was the Blue Supermoon and I got some cool pictures. It was very bright, which was good because my lights need new batteries. I've been getting a ton of page views on this blog all the sudden, due to webcrawlers finally finding it I think. Really crazy, I had like 4k views the other day, all from "other" referral urls, on linux computers in the United States. And yet I still can't find my blog on google. Tomorrow I'm checking out the record shop (just want info about when they're doing the listening party for Mitski's new album; probably not buying anything there since the two albums I want from them should be around for a while) and also the outdoor supply store right next to it for more swag (they sent an email the other day about labor day sales) and like an water resistant sack. Was gonna get my bag there but obviously that's not happening due to other great deals. Oh and I'm planning a fast 5k (well 3.2 miles really) in the morning. My hope is to run it 25 minutes, we'll see if I can actually do that, I barely made it in 27 minutes last time I did it. If so, that's a sub 8 pace and 8 is my 5k goal. I think that's everything?

Dog Days 27 and 28

 It's so so so hot. So the title is relevant again.

Saturday I overslept. Finally made it out of bed to go to the grocery store and get supplies for cooking. Then I went to a baptism, followed by a bit more shopping (this time with other people). Got home, showered because I was very sweaty and then made tomato confit and garlic confit (which turned out a bit overcooked I think). For the most part, this just meant I peeled a lot of garlic. My main herb base was the Scarborough Fair herbs (parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme). I also added salt and black pepper, plus dried chilies for the garlic and apple cider vinegar for the tomatoes (should have added sugar too, oh well). While those were cooking, I decided to use the leftover herbs to make pesto. Except I had no cheese and no pine nuts, so I used my leftover shredded coconut and a bit of palm oil for texture and oils. I also added too much lemon juice, so it came out quite sour. I guess I could call it pesto-like instead of pesto. While everything was cooking, I also watched more of My Adventures with Superman. I'm quite liking it. After cooking was done I did dishes.

Sunday I got up at 6:30 so I'd be ready for our 7:30 run. It was already so hot (like 75 degrees) so the run was pretty miserable. Got home, showered and finished doing the dishes. I decided to toast the rest of the baguette I bought Saturday in the oven. Burnt some of it but that was okay. Went to church (threw my bike in the back of my roommate's car because biking to church would have been miserable). Sacrament was fine, so was Sunday School (where I spread the good word of Christian Anarchism and my belief that 4th Nephi is the best book in the Book of Mormon). Had elder's quorum presidency meeting after church and then hung out at a friend's house for a bit while writing my message to a potential workaway host. Then we went over to the park for the charcuterie picnic (which is why I made those spreads in the first place). It was very hot, but more bearable in the shade of the pavilion. I didn't play volleyball because I had to take a phone call and that was a convenient excuse not to. Hung out more, returned to my friends' house and then biked home (by this point it was still hot but more reasonable, like sub 90). At home I rested a bit and then dug up my vaccine records for my appointment Tuesday. Apparently I'm due for tetanus as well so that's two shots I forgot I needed along with a consultation about malaria pills (the reason I set up the appointment in the first place). How serendipitous. And that was my day, pretty much. 

Feeling fine, just hot. Have my next appointment with the psychiatrist Tuesday.  

Dog Days 20, 21 and 22

More tired and busy leading to laziness. 

Saturday: Got up and went to Walmart to get milk and a couple of other ingredients. Then we went climbing. Embarrassingly couldn't make it up an easy route but I did make it up some highball slabs (and a fun chimney problem). Swam in a lake but it was dirty enough (non blue-green algae bloom) to not want to swim across it. Tried the Culver's pub burger, it was excellent. Got home and played pathfinder (was very late). Made paneer by boiling milk, adding lemon juice and then squeezing out the whey. Pressed the cheese for 2 hours and meant to write this while that was happening but ended up falling asleep on the couch instead.

Sunday: Got up early to cook. Took like an hour to fry my paneer/tofu and blanch 3 pounds of spinach. The rest of the cooking went a lot faster. I doubled the spices of the recipe (and the number of chilies and yogurt) which was probably a quite good idea. I also let the onions caramelize (for much longer than the recipe suggested) before adding the ginger and garlic. This is something I always do, not sure why the recipe called for adding them all together. Anyway, the saag paneer turned out really well.

Church was fine, I skipped out on the last third of elder's quorum to reheat my dish before the potluck. Was really glad someone else brought rice as well because mine was demolished. There wasn't much food so it was a good thing that I brought so much of a main course. Everyone (who could handle a little spice) got some. The sisters asked if I could sit in on a lesson and it went well. The investigator really wants to set his life straight and feel the progression of the gospel. The prayer he gave at the end was very sincere and powerful. Anyway, he's aiming to be baptized this Saturday. Went home, did dishes and I honestly don't remember the rest of the day. I did watch the first few episodes of the new Superman show, which is quite cute.

Monday: Got up and it was storming. Prepared a bag just in case but decided it wouldn't be worth it (especially since we weren't doing FHE at the church). Did a little bit of work, but not enough really. I know what I need to add to my proposal, but I just haven't done it yet. Took a nap (I've been really tired this past week but not in a depressed way, in a I'm not getting enough sleep because I'm dumb way). Ordered a record. Went to FHE. And that's about it. Now I'm back here. 

Dog Days 16

 Got up and then slept in a bit. Went to Walmart to get some ingredients for dinner. Went to the Asian Market to get some other ingredients (no candlenuts though; place was near cleared out since it's closing at the end of the month because the owner is retiring). Went home and worked on my literature review. Sat around a bit. Started cooking. Since most of the cook time was boiling meat, I decided to rerecord the bass and vocals for the last part of "Fishing for Birds". The bass is much slower and out of time, so I might rerecord it again as triplet quavers or just eighth notes instead of quarter notes. My microphone also just doesn't capture the noiseyness of what I'm doing, though it did catch a cool effect I did with a vibrating string and a coin. Also my amp was picking up changes in electricity (in the atmosphere) when I touched my laptop, which was cool. I also rerecorded the vocals. They're a bit screamier and less shouty now but I still have a ways to go. Went downstairs to finish cooking. Ground my paste (used palm oil instead of candlenuts), cut the potatoes and in general it all went very smoothly.

The missionaries arrived just as I was finishing cooking the bihun (well glass noodles, I couldn't find actual bihun) and dishing up the soup. The elders were on splits so I ended up hosting a very green missionary. He loved the soup and had like three helpings. Dinner and the lesson went well and right at the end I got a call from a member of the bishopric asking if I could help with a blessing. I could, so I biked over and did the anointing. Weird that after a long time of not blessing anyone, I've done two within two weeks. I'll admit it feels pretty good to be the sort of person people turn to when looking for help with this. It's nice to be known as a reliable person, I guess? Also helped that I was nearby but we'll ignore that for now. 

Got home and after some looking, found the mailroom key so I picked up my shipment of dice and my battle map. Now I just need some wet erase markers and I'll be ready to really wow my players (I suggested two possible adventures for this week if people want to play). I've been reading up on encounter and battle design too. Did dishes and worked on this. Such was my day.

I feel fine, as I should. Tired though but that's fine. 

Summer Day 21

Woke up like less than hour after falling asleep, due to thunder. But after that disorientation, I went back to sleep and I think I slept fine. Forgot to set my alarm so I didn't get up till 8. Had a weird dream with a very diverse cast of people and also I kept doing one handed crimp pull-ups. Figured that I could work from home today. So I did. 

In the afternoon, did a quick jaunt to Walmart to buy pita bread. Spent much of the afternoon napping/lying in bed, which really wasn't great (it's like I do when I'm depressed, except I don't feel depressed). Went downstairs and cooked shakshuka, which was quite easy. Fed the missionaries and had a nice lesson with them. Quickly did dishes (really easy this time) and then did a quick ride on the boardwalk. Came home and was unproductive (but whatever). Sent a message on mutual with less than an hour before the match expired. I'm not super interested in her but she seems like an interesting person to talk to (and based on my facebook stalking, knows family). I have another match I need to talk to as well so I should do that tomorrow (just not interested in the last of my 3 matches, there's very little to go off in her profile and I was shocked she even had swiped up on me). Otherwise can't say that my foray into online dating again has gone great but whatever. I need to put myself out there again. 

Getting up to run tomorrow. And institute starts again. And maybe there will be an aurora (but probably not). So it's a really busy day. Also I need to actually get some real work done, both for my boss and my proposal. 

Summer Day 19

Woke up before my alarm I think but my window was open so that's fine. Waited for the alarm and went downstairs to make klepon. Getting the consistency of the dough was hard, the recipe I used was too skimpy on the rice flour, which left it much too sticky. I made a lot of my balls too big/doughy. A number of the klepon exploded either while cooking or while I was taking them out and coating them in coconut. But overall it was a success and I got good feedback at the potluck.

Church was fine. Not much to report. Enduring to the end is a funny joke because there is no end. Oh and one person admitted to being seriously depressed/having frequent suicidal thoughts. I already kinda knew that about him (vibes plus he had a depressive episode a few weeks back) but I think it may have been a bit much for people who haven't experienced suicidal thoughts (and sometimes I forget that that's most people). I'm glad my depression isn't that bad, even if it can feel a bit imposter syndromey at times. We had lots of food at the potluck.

Went home and lay around for a bit before finishing washing the dishes. Started looking at workaways as well, since then I might be able to go places I've never been. I think I'm going to pull the trigger tomorrow and book tickets, probably after I tell my advisor my plans. I'll have a bit under a month (based on ticket prices, visas and wanting to be back for Halloween), which I'll probably split between Jakarta talking with economists (insyallah), Surabaya to talk to teachers/chill and then one or two workaway locations to talk with ordinary people and try to see what teenagers are thinking as they make their schooling decisions (among other things). I do intend to do some work even if my real goal is to abandon my responsibilities for a while because I'm going crazy here. 

Despite being hot the weather was fairly nice so I did a ride around 24 miles. Ate dinner, scrolled through mutual. I have 3 people to contact right now, one runs out soon (I did find her academic profile though). I hate online dating, but I made a promise that I'd move on and try. Didn't work on "Fishing for Birds". Did work on this and some other projects. 

Feeling fine. Got through church without being upset about the thing. I should talk to her though, make sure she knows I still consider and want her to be my friend. Maybe institute?

Summer Day 13 (how auspicious)

So the answer is no. I didn't ask the question (in fact, I didn't even see her today) but in conversation with mutual friends I definitely got that vibe. Maybe it could change later (and maybe it was yes a couple of months ago) but I'm not waiting. I've been getting very strong for the last couple days that it's time to move on and throw myself into the market anyway. So if anything happens between us in the future, it happens but like I said, I'm not waiting. And I'll try to keep our friendship alive, because I do value that a lot.

Got up at 8 (after snoozing an extra hour) and showered. Left home after 9 (could've been sooner but I was lazy). Had a short meeting with a coworker (only because our boss asked that we have one, otherwise there was no reason for it), did a bit of work, ate lunch and went home. On the way home I stopped at the Hmong market to look for pandan flavoring but they were out. The other asian market had some though. So I'm ready for the potluck Sunday. 

At home I cooked. First I made sofrito, which was pretty easy. But now I have so much. Then I prepared everything else for the laab and cooked it. Really wasn't too hard, would've been even easier with a sous chef. Then since I was running a bit late I rushed through all my cassava flour to make casabe.

Dinner went well. The food was delicious and the company was nice. We talked well into the night about random stuff, including planning the craziest party possible (budget: at least 50 million USD). Also I didn't dominate conversation and while witty, wasn't super talkative and instead more attentive. Which was all good. Left quite late and on the way back decided that I'd take the long way and hang out by the lake for a while. So a lot of extra biking in the end. Enjoyed the supermoon though. And got to be alone with my thoughts and work through the fact that that hope is gone. Finally made it home, did the dishes and eventually made my way up to write this (and after this, the secret diary, I guess). 

On the one hand I should feel pretty good. I got to cook, hang out and my coworker moved out. But I am pretty bummed out, even if I'll get over it soon enough. It's only natural and it does feel qualitatively different from a depression type down feeling. Just like how being at the party showed the difference between me being happy and euthymic in semi-familiar company vs when I am hypomanic. I do have a difference in my levels of chattiness. 

I'm tired, it's real late and I have things to do tomorrow.

Summer Day 12

Decided not to run since it's fast sunday. I also got a ride to church for the same reason (it was a pretty nice day though). I'm almost done with Wrestling the Angel so I'll need a new pre-Church book to read. I blessed the sacrament today, so I brought two ties: a regular one to bless the sacrament in and then my red-white-and-blue cravat for afterwards (because independence). Testimonies were fine, as was Sunday School. 

Napped at home, broke my fast and then helped project new routes on the wall. Then I went upstairs, napped a bit more and started operation cassava flour. Peeling the cassava was easy, though I was extra unsure if I got all the skin off or not. Then I soaked the cassava and grated it. I wish I had a finer grater to make the flour less chunky but alas I did not. While grating I watched Unicorn: Warriors Eternal and then the first couple of episodes of Cowboy Bebop. I've quite enjoyed the both of them. After that, it was time to squeeze the water out of the flour by putting it cheesecloth, squeezing and then squeezing some more. That took a while, accompanied by a somewhat awkward religious conversation with the coworker staying here. Not sure how many cups of flour I ended up with, so we'll see how many casabe I'm able to make tomorrow.

I do feel somewhat guilty about this, but I persuaded said coworker that he shouldn't come to church with us today by mentioning how roommate and I go extra early because of meetings. He kinda of drives me crazy and I didn't want that refuge intruded on. So yeah, I'm a bad saint. 

I'm feeling tired (6 hours of sleep really isn't good for me but that's around what I've been getting) but otherwise fine. I think I really am euthymic, let's see if I stay this way. I have some work to do tomorrow morning and then I'm cooking all afternoon (and have to come a bit earlier since I wasn't able to make my sofrito tonight).

Summer Day 7

Slept very well. Woke up right at 7. Notice a message from roommate's girlfriend about needing to go to the hospital from like 2 in the morning. I respond that that sucks (I wasn't awake enough to realize the point was to go wake up my roommate). I don't think I fall back asleep until like 7:30 and then drift in and out until like 8. Anyway, am slow to get out of bed (unlike my original plan for the day) and finally get out the house at like 11:00.

The smoke was really bad today. I even took a picture of it. Anyway, make it to the office and do a bit of work. Then hang out a bit, then head over to where the university was handing out free ice cream. Got free ice cream, went back and met with my advisor for like an hour. He thinks I can finish my proposal and defend it by the end of August (so 2 months from now). So I need to get the ball rolling on putting together the committee and getting the warrant out ASAP. We also want to rewrite it for grant purposes. 

Went home and got to work cooking. With the meat and potatoes pre-cut, it really only took like an hour to finish up with cooking. So much longer than recipe said but not as long as it could have been. I did let it take longer than in the recipe to simmer and thicken up. Anyway, the maafe turned out good. Better than I expected. Dinner went well, the missionaries had a nice lesson. 

After dinner I cleaned up and complained a bit about work before going upstairs. Didn't end up working but did read through some tabs that had been open for a while. Fell asleep for a bit, woke up sweaty and then wrote this. 

I feel fine. Just tired but I guess that's normal since I never get enough sleep. Still working on that.

Pre-Summer Day 13

Weird thing that happened after writing yesterday's entry and biking home. It was raining ever so slightly and then bam, I feel something go past my fast and hear it hit the ground. It looked like someone had through a cup of ground ice at me. Which was bizarre for many reasons, including that there was no one around. Even weirder, it happened again like maybe half a mile away from where it was the first time. Must've been weird hail, but that doesn't explain why it was so clumpy or why it was going fast and from a strange direction.  

I slept for about 7 hours and I think I slept the whole way through, unusually. Of course, I didn't go to bed till 1230 or so which is pretty bad considering I'd been up about 19 hours by that point. By 8 I was out of bed, went downstairs to throw my swim stuff in the washing machine and start cooking. I made a vegan variant of Efo Riro for the ward potluck and it turned out really well. I finished up just in time to catch a ride to church and so I quickly got dressed and did that. Since I had lots of time to kill, I made cute little placards explaining the food (emphasizing it was spicy, I even drew little scotch bonnets on them). And I wandered around the church a whole bunch. Eventually I set up a single chair in the overflow and read but I was fidgety the whole time.

Church went fine. Between meetings I headed over to the kitchen and ran into bishop and his wife and ended up telling them that I am depressed and hoping to start treatment soon. Which was kinda weird but it also felt right? Potluck went well, the soup was nearly completely gone by the end of it despite being spicier than many people can handle (wimps). Of course that's partially because we had really low contribution this month; I think I might have been the only person other than Bishop and his family to bring a main course. Maybe one of two people.

Went home, took a brief nap and then decided to go to my office to work. Took a while to actually work but I did grade another assignment. Now I'm only like 3 behind (as of now, because one was due tonight). I'll get them tomorrow. Went home, cleaned up the kitchen and here I am eventually writing this.

I didn't feel too horrible today. Not compared to yesterday at least. I don't feel good mind you, especially not this morning. I'm certainly still low mood, anhedonic (I didn't eat breakfast, barely ate much at the potluck and didn't eat dinner till 1030 and didn't really want that) and just feel bad. But not horrible. And I'm still pretty energetic and irritated/agitated even if I was more or less able to control/hide it today. I could probably stay up for another few hours easily but I'm going to try to force myself to go to bed soon. I've also decided that I'm going to try to switch my schedule (which I know needs to be more regular) to have a 7am wake up on the regular. That way when I'm having trouble getting out of bed it doesn't cut into my day as much and early mornings won't be as disruptive to my schedule. We'll see how well this works. It's going to take a lot of self discipline.

Weird Period Day 4

So between not falling asleep until after 3 and my foot hurting, I decided to not go running today. So after getting up at 7 I went back to sleep for another hour or two. Got up, showered, saw that I still don't have any work assignments and began prepping for cooking. I think?

Made gado2, which was a first for me. I blended the peanuts (not fresh, but unsalted dry roasted which was the closest I could get) and made the peanut sauce. Then I marinated and fried the tofu and tempe. I overcooked my cabbage but the other veggies (potatoes, green beans, bean sprouts and spinach) turned out well. Finally, I made sambal tomat, though it probably needed more tomatoes. Maybe. Took a long time because my workflow was very inefficient (a second cook would've been quite helpful) but it turned out well. Hit with the missionaries and roommates and was basically all eaten up (except the peanut sauce and sambal because there was so much of that). We ate outside because it was really nice and there was more space.

After that I did dishes and lay around. Read up on some family history stuff. Wrote this. Going to bed soon because I'm tired. 

Resting Day 4

Got up at 5:30, went back to sleep till 6. Slowly made my way out the door to do bird collision corps stuff. Unfortunately I did find a bird (gray catbird, I think). It already smelled bad so was probably died earlier in the night. Then went over to help someone load up a truck to move. Which ran over because the truck was late. Finished just in time to rush over to the church for the baptism, or rather refreshments after the baptism (did give Bishop a report of the move, at least). Went to a farmers market with a couple people. The west side one, which I had never been to before (on account of it being like 9 miles from my home, though only like 3 from the church). Got some turmeric-juniper kraut, excited to see how this turns out. 

Went home, battery on like 2%. Showered and fell asleep (did not go on the nature walk, too tired. I'd done like 40+ miles in the last 24 hours by that point, and not with enough calories probably). Woke up and once again didn't do much. Except some climbing on the basement wall. Around 7ish I made dinner and around 9 started cooking tikal gomen for the potluck tomorrow. My onions and ginger felt pretty low quality, hopefully that's not an issue. This recipe felt pretty low on flavor and burning some of the onions and spices certainly didn't help. I added extra turmeric, cumin and cayenne but I'm not sure that will be enough. We'll see tomorrow I guess. At least it was cheap, even to make many pounds of the stuff (I started with like 5 lbs potatoes, 4-5 in cabbage, over a pound of carrots and a lot of onions too. Of course much of that cooks down so I don't have 10 pounds).  

Still feeling really unmotivated, but not down or anhedonic (I think). Certainly not compared to even just over a week ago. But maybe with a bit more time.

Oh and it looks like the place I wanted to go to isn't taking new patients right now. Maybe

Spring Day 30

 Got up. Lay around a bit (I think?). Showered and was gonna go on a bike ride when I remembered that I had a meeting at 11. So I listened in on that while preparing my chayote and beans. Went on a bike ride (the ride I had originally planned to do Saturday) and that was nice. Saw lots of birds. And people I guess. Since it was on my way, I went to the tool shop and got an impact screwdriver and hex bits for a ratchet wrench. Got home and actually managed to loosen that bolt! So I'll be able to finish fixing my bike soon. 

Cooked lontong sayur. Except that my lontong were an utter failure so it was just a coconut soup. Also it was green instead of red because no red peppers. Otherwise it turned out pretty well, I think. The missionaries ate it at the very least. Didn't seem like it would turn out good right till the end though. The visit with the missionaries was nice. Told them stories and they told me stories. Their lesson was a nice reminder of the importance of the restoration. I told them a lot about the sort of unique teachings that have helped me. Things like a truly eternal perspective, the positive view of the fall and the emphasis on agency. 

After cleaning up, I saw that a new trailer for the xenoblade DLC dropped. So that distracted me for a while and then I finally finished my homework. Fun stuff. 

I won't say I'm feeling ecstatic, but I also don't feel terrible. Or even bad. Which is good.

Spring Day 20

 Today was cooking day. That means I got up at 7:30 and then went back to sleep instead of rushing right to the store. But eventually I made it out of bed and went over to one of the asian grocery stores I hadn't tried. No red peppers and no lime leaves. So then I decided to try the other store I knew about on the other side of the lake. On the way, I stopped at the winter location of the farmers' market (no peppers, no cheese curds). First time I've ever been there. Didn't even know it was a thing until today. Made it to the other Asian market. No lime leaves at all, so I just got limes to zest up. Was able to find bay leaves. And a bag of jalapenos were a couple started to turn slightly red. Closest I got and I needed to go home and start cooking so I accepted it. Also bought more shallots, which ended up being a good idea because I barely had enough for the rendang, let alone the telur balado. 

Was really tired (got up early and biked around the lake basically on a whim) so after getting home I ate lunch, showered and took a brief nap. Was really lazy to get downstairs and start cooking. Making the spice paste took like two hours. So many cloves of garlic and shallots to peel. And removing the skin from my galangal. Plus grinding took forever even with a blender because nothing wanted to blend (and even by the end, it probably wasn't smooth enough). I also didn't bother measuring my powdered spices (most recipes I drew from asked for fresh versions) so that balance probably ended up off.

Actually cooking the rendang was fairly easy. Fry the spices, add coconut cream (I likely used too much, next time just a liter per kilo of meat), add the meat and then stir every once and a while. Of course, it reduced much slower than I wanted (too much coconut milk probably) and took over three hours for the oil to separate from everything else and really reduce to a paste over the meat. Unsurprisingly, the beef rendang tastes a lot better than the rabbit one (which is tougher). Even the beef could be softer in my opinion though. At first I was pretty disappointed with how it turned out, but once the rendang cooled down and the flavors started to settle it tasted a lot better so hopefully by tomorrow it will be very good. 

Pathfinder went well, even if I was cooking for half the time while we chatted. For like the first time ever, I used a cantrip to good effect. Well, not really to good effect but it was so desperate and funny that the DM rolled with it. Those coral golems got a good scare from the sound of parrotfish. First encounter in a while, first game in a while really. 

After patherfinder I cleaned up the kitchen more (including both of the woks I was using) and then started boiling eggs. Got all 25 of them boiled (which took way too long), peeled half of them and then wrote this.

I'm quite tired, which is a good thing. I should be tired, I keep getting up early, going to bed late and being active. Felt pretty good, as I have been doing. I continue to ignore my work (in this case the lit review due Wednesday). That's gonna be an all nighter one.

On tubers and how to translate them

 I've been playing a lot of xenoblade recently and have many thoughts about it, as can be seen on my reddit profile. As much as I like it, there's something extremely immersion breaking for me: taro is referred to as potatoes.

If I remember correctly, spongy spuds are first introduced around when the party's food gets stolen. At the very least I saw a bag full of them at some point in Maktha Wildwood and I recognized them right away as taro. Which was cool because taro is not a commonly seen plant, especially for westerners. It's only later on we get to the problematic part. See, Zeon's ascension quest is about growing crops, specifically "spongy spuds" for his colony. The name spongy spud itself is fine, it's a fictional world after all. However, they are also referred to as potatoes, taters and other less ambiguous names. This is despite both the tubers and the plants are clearly modeled after taro. Even the advice to harvest after the leaves start wilting is a taro trait (though potatoes do have similar advice. I wonder if cassava does as well, it might be a general root crop thing). So that was pretty frusterating.

Now, localizing taro as potato isn't necessarily a bad thing. After all, most English speakers aren't going to be that familiar with taro. But it does become a lot worse when you're localizing something that has images along with the text, since even if you don't know what taro is it is pretty obvious that those aren't potatoes. It reminds me of the "jelly donut-onigiri" controversy from the Pokemon anime way back when. The idea of turning onigiri into jelly donuts to make it more relevant to the audience isn't a bad thing. Doing that when it is clearly referencing an image which is not a jelly donut is an issue. (Funnily enough, onigiri does play a minor role in Xenoblade 3 and its name is not translated). 

Anyway, I actually went to the Japanese version of the game to see what the original text called them. Spud, potato, tater, etc all seem to be used as translations for the same word imo "tuber". So while the original text doesn't seem to explicitly label it as taro (as far as I could tell), it doesn't explicitly call it potato either. Localizing this to a bunch of words for more variety is reasonable enough but again, the translators should've looked at what it was referring to before making some of these translations. 

You know what the worst part is? I seem to be the only person to notice this and care enough to complain! At least, I haven't encountered anyone else yet who was like "yep, that's clearly taro."

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In other farming related video game news Harvestella looks pretty awesome but I hope it doesn't neglect farming too much. And someone needs to make a farming sim that caters towards caters towards my desire for complex agronomy and agricultural markets while still maintaining the sort of whimsy often found in these games (that is, I want more realism but don't want to play John Deere Combine Simulator 2022: Deluxe Edition). Maybe I'll rant about that some day.