Today was an aggressively mixed day. Actually had someone show up to office hours though. Otherwise, I did no work because it's too stressful and killing me. I'll need to face it tomorrow though. I've been reading up more about social anxiety and how to deal with it (especially for dealing with the question). Oh and I teared up a bit while reading stuff about that and related to it. And I read my patriarchial blessing again and yep it's pretty clear that the question is in my hands.
I managed to get selected to present again in IO. Two in a row now, absolutely devastating. I had a sinking feeling it was coming too but didn't spice up, or even review, my presentation. It also meant I couldn't leave early like I was planning on, yet I still managed to get to the church mostly on time for FHE. It was a trivia night and I love trivia (and as usual, dominated it). No flats either! Then I had to rush home to make sure an exam was turned in on time (it was). Took almost exactly 40 minutes, which is not that fast all things considered. Sure felt faster than I normally do it though. Should've biked up the hill.
Some goals
- This blog
- On Grading
- On Zion
- On Admonishments
- Sayings of the cross series for Easter
- I'd like to do some Kikxotian short stories/folk tales. Maybe I don't have any conlanging juice right now but I can still do some worldbuilding
- In life
- Get over myself
- Answer those emails (I have to do this tomorrow, for class so fml)
- Reach out to the Other and see how she's doing. No modus, I don't want to get back together but it's been a few years and I genuinely care about how she's doing. Plus if I can reach out to someone who has every right to be angry at me (though she probably isn't, she's too nice/good for that), maybe I'll prove to myself that I can get over my anxiety with those that don't. This is a longer term goal, her birthday is in like 6 weeks and that's a reasonable deadline if I don't reach out sooner.
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