Woke up sometime between 4 and 5. Spent until 6 in bed, moving in and out of light sleep. I hate this terminal insomnia and how even when I set my bedtime earlier it still catches up with me. But I know that worrying about being awake just makes it worse and to wait it out. At 6 I got up and started grading. Did some and then showered. Did more grading. Went to the office and did more. Attended presentations. Spent time with coworkers. Finally finished grading. Decided it was too nice to work on my friday presentation (which I've completely changed what I'm doing anyway which is both easier since I can reuse parts of my old presentation and harder because I now need to relate it to IO) so I went to the arboretum. That was nice, even if I felt terrible.
Institute was intense. I think I might have offended some people by being a bit too harsh (in facing my shadow). I'll talk about that in my fourth post of the day. Went home, ruminating on institute and acknowledging that I do have some pretty deep resentment towards my family.
Got home and faffed around, not really wanting to do anything but lie under the covers and pity myself. I really don't like being depressed, I just haven't had time to call the psychiatrist this week and set something up. Forced myself to do these since writing out my feelings is better than just thinking them.
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