I've been really busy (or at least coming home late when I'm home at all) and lazy. I won't cover everything, just the important stuff.
I had a bunch of meeting Wednesday, along with running and institute. I also went to donate blood but was still slightly anemic. I'll try once more before my trip. Got a t-shirt though. Institute was fine. Got home late and didn't bother folding my clothes (my clothes remain unfolded so I'll do that after this).
Thursday's big event was watching Barbie and Oppenheimer (Oppenheimer first). I went to the office to do work (and get a ride to the movies...I took the bus and everything) but ended up having to go home fairly soon because new/old roommate was moving in a day earlier than expected. So I ended up biking to the movies. Both were very good. Oppenheimer is the better movie but Barbie was very fun even if it dragged on a bit near the end (and quite frankly, Ken's storyline doesn't really feel resolved). Ken's song should get Best Original Song as the Oscars next year. It also needs a midwest emo cover ASAP. Like yeah the 80s rock/ballad style fits better with Ken's personality but those lyrics scream emo.
I had a bunch of meetings Friday morning so I went to the office to do those before heading back home. Packed and then took the bus to the church (three transfers!) for Nauvoo. Rode in a car with a bunch of new people, almost all of whom are real into DnD so we talked a lot about that. The rout we took went through a whole bunch of back roads, which was weird. Between that and dinner, we didn't arrive until after 11. Played a bit of cards and then went to bed.
I got up a little before 6 so that I could shower before my 8am initiatory appointment. Wasn't the first person up, but was pretty close. Got dressed and then caught a ride with the other person who had the same idea (we're both social misanthropes, which is something we've bonded over quite a bit). Wandered around the temple grounds while listening to Low's "The Lamb" since that's a very appropriate song for the circumstances. Nauvoo is one of my favorite temples honestly. They don't build them like this anymore. Went in, printed names, saw Joseph Smith's sword (which was a family artifact before whoever inherited it gave it to the church), did initiatories for the first time in like over 5 years. I'd forgotten the blessings associated with it so that was a nice reminder of my potential. Five names goes pretty fast so I was done by 8:20 or so and out the door by about 830. Walked back to where we were staying (a little less than a mile and luckily on a flat surface). Played the blue, out of tune street piano a bit on my way back. Changed into my civilian clothes and then went with my car to explore. First we went to the old cemetery (which is apparently newer than the pioneer cemetery) and then down to old town. We checked out the Browning shop (which was new for me), the tin shop and watched some dancers before heading back to our place to get ready for endowments. I had already decided I wasn't doing a session (once again, a good choice) but did get talked into doing baptisms, the first I'd done in 4.5 years. It could have gone smoother. I forgot about confirmations so after changing out of my wet clothes, I just walked out through a non-descript side exit and had to do the walk of shame through the main entrance back to the baptistry. But the ordinances themselves were good. Even with pictures, we still got back before the endowment people. Changed into civilian clothes again and we decided as a group to go to Carthage before the rush. I rode over. I'd done Carthage before so it was whatever. On the ride over and back I talked about life with previously mentioned misanthropic friend. I ended up telling her about Her and how I was sort of engaged, which was a story she'd been waiting like 3 weeks to hear (I mentioned at a party that I had experiencing seducing rich people but that the party wasn't the time to tell it).
Get back to the house and then walk to the visitor's center with a few people (and finally got more context on the question. At least I can safely say that I accept the answer now. That didn't take too long). Ran into another person and so it was the five of us for the rest of the night. After doing the scavenger hunt at the visitor's center and getting bricks, we headed back for dinner but decided to just buy rice bowls instead. Over the course of all this, we talked about all sorts of things including how we definitely were a group of side characters in whatever tv show we're in, my thoughts on anarchism which are probably pretty illogical but have good vibes, and cults. After dinner we went to the pageant area but it was before anything started so we walked over to the Smith family graveyard and sat for a while there. The marsh was very pretty (4.5 star marsh) and I bird watched a bit (saw a heron) while listening to Low's Double Negative since that seemed very appropriate and isolating. Of course that meant I didn't realize when people were trying to talk to me, lol. I left the group (more people were coming to the site and while I like the people in that group, I didn't want to be in a crowd) and started down the river. Ended up running into Bishop and his wife and talked to them for a bit. By that point the rest of my group caught up and we walked along the river and admired the sunset before heading over to the pageant. I didn't want to do the pageant so I just walked back to the house (up a hill and playing the piano on the way, of course). Hung out at the house and got asked more about my life by the other person who didn't want to go to the pageant (while she also vented to me about a bunch of things). That was a really hard (open ended) question to answer. Around 9:30 walked back to the temple. After waiting for it to light up (the signal that the pageant was going to end) I headed over to the piano and started playing it (I decided to work on learning "Wine, Women and Song" because that's a good one for a very out of tune piano) since I thought it would be funny to play piano in the dark as people passed by. Well not many people passed by, in fact it was basically just people from the ward. The first was the couple I'd been hanging out with earlier and they found it very funny and on brand that the random person playing piano in the dark was me. I didn't go back with them though because I didn't want to cockblock. Next group was the other half of the group I'd been with earlier (plus some others) and I went with them. They also thought it was funny. I should also mention that both groups had actually guessed that the person was me, from off in a distance. Anyway got back, showered and went to sleep. Well, lay in bed wanting to go to sleep.
Fell asleep by 1 and was already awake by like 4:45. Stayed in bed half asleep until like 5:55 though. Then I got up, stripped the bed, got dressed and ate breakfast. Helped with other clean up stuff and my car left around 7:10 (we were one of the last because we helped). It's 4.5 hours to Madison and we were at the church by like 11:30...so we went fast. I slept like the whole car ride. Well maybe 3 hours of it. Was dead tired in sacrament meeting. Took attendance for Elder's quorum and then skipped out on the rest of it. Got a ride home with someone else who was tired and skipping 2nd hour. Got home, learned that we can't use the shower due to a leak and took a nap. Then just worked on various things all afternoon and evening I guess. Played bass (I can do "Where is my mind" pretty much b memory; also worked on natural harmonics). Did the dishes. Cooked two dinners (I didn't really have lunch and breakfast was tiny but that was still pretty excessive). Finally got around to listening to Brave Little Abacus and have decided they are the only non-Šyþed Pyklez/Ghelded Kultz band that actually have the shithe spirit (oh last night I also admitted that I still write songs and sometimes they relate to my feelings). Not wanting fans to pay for music, being noisy and experimental and singing poorly and so forth. Still better musicians and lyricists though. And now I'm writing this and not folding my laundry because it's late and I have a very long and busy day tomorrow.
I've felt pretty good these last few days, but in a non manic way. A nice change from the last ward trip. I have my appointment on Tuesday and finished the paperwork Friday. I'm really hoping that I can express myself well and start to get help. I'm fine now (and have been for a month, contextual week feeling bummed out aside), but I was fine in May too and all regular readers now how that turned out. Saturday was genuinely one of the nicest, happiest days I've had in a while (and no uncontrollable crying and depression afterwards!). I was a normal person (emotionally, at least). I think I actually do feel peace at the temple. Whodathunk?
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