Sunday, July 30, 2023

Dog Days 7

Got up and then went back to sleep for a bit. Fixed my tire and made a fancy breakfast (eggs and onions) for myself. Went to church. Talks were fine (good job to the new member who spoke) and the fifth Sunday lesson was also fine. Came home. Napped a bit. Finished Wrestling the Angel. Ate a whole thing of macaroni for dinner. Since the weather was nice and I need to run more, I decided to do an 8.6 mile run today.

Left a little after 7 and made it back in about 85 minutes (I didn't set a stopwatch but I did listen to a ~49 minute album and all but the last 1.5 minutes or so of a 37 minute album. I chose those for pacing reasons since if I beat the albums, that would mean a 10 minute pace). Technically a bit over that since Idid stop the music for like 30 seconds to get water (mile 4.3, so the halfway point) and like a 3-4 minute bathroom break around mile 6.5 (ultimately unnecessary but a bit before I really felt like I needed one). I was tired by the end of it (and really hungry so I ate second dinner) but my muscles don't hurt too much and most importantly, I ran the whole thing. Wasn't even really panting or anything. So my endurance and overall cardio is good. I just need to work more on pacing. This course had some hills too. Nothing too extreme but adding those in is important too. Time to find more courses since I have just like 8 weeks to go. Maybe 7. Sent out some emails for work and lazed around. Filled out and submitted my timesheet, which I was supposed to do Friday but forget given the whole funeral and happy hour things. Luckily I hadn't gotten locked out the system for last week yet. Hopefully my pay isn't delayed too much.

I feel fine. Emotionally and even physically, given that whole running thing. I even played video games (Xenoblade and Runescape. apparently it's double xp week). Need to get up early to go shopping (I haven't in like 3 weeks. I'm almost completely out of food except ramen).

Saturday, July 29, 2023

Dog Days 6

Not much to report today. Slept in today (so until 8). Didn't go anywhere in the morning (even though I need to go shopping) because I wasn't sure when we were leaving for the lake. Should've fixed my tire but didn't (it's fully deflated now, was like 3/4 this morning). 

Climbed at the lake at some places I'd never been before. These were some pretty fun and not too difficult areas, which was nice. I got to do some high rocks, which is always nice. 

Came home and played pathfinder. Twas good. Our campaign is slowly advancing (well a side mission of it at least). Did dishes afterwards and here we are. Not much else to say. Tomorrow is fifth Sunday, I have some work things to do and I might go swing dancing (or at least listen to the band while others dance) or do some ministering stuff. Should be a nice day. 

I feel fine. I think I'm starting to get used to the post medicine fatigue, I'm not nearly as tired as I was a few days ago. Still pretty tired though. 

Friday, July 28, 2023

Dog Days 5

Set my alarm for 6:30 but didn't get ready for the day until like 8. Guess I was tired. Anyway, my rear tire was flat for some reason so I rescheduled my meeting with my advisor to the afternoon and went to fix that. Didn't find the leak (it's definitely there though, since it deflated by the end of today) but did find one of the spokes was loose. Fixed that (sort of) and decided to just pump my tire and see what would happen.

Went to my office (it was so hot) and prepared for my meeting. Did the meeting (it was productive) and worked on my next tasks, for Monday. The funeral started at 3 so I zoomed into that and it was a nice funeral. Haven't been to one in a long time, especially not one for a relative. Went for a run with the department. Our pace wasn't great but that's okay, it was so hot. Hung out at the happy hour, went home and showered since I was literally drenched in sweat. Decided to work on the next track for the Scandals from the Karaoke Booth EP, which is "Waiting Room" but basically deconstructed as an industrial song (and no, I don't mean an industrial rock song). A single pulsating bass line, never changing except in timber. A heavy 4 on the 4 kick and snares on 1 and 3 to sound more mechanical. Loops on loops on loops. I'll record the vocals through a vocorder to give them a nice robotic feel. Should be interesting (especially as I start playing the bass line over itself but off beat). So I've been having a lot of fun with that. 

I'm less tired tonight than I have been the last few nights. Maybe because I actually sort of slept in. I'm starting to feel pretty tired though so I guess I'll go to bed soon.

Thursday, July 27, 2023

Dog Days 4

Set my alarm for 6:30 but didn't really make it out of bed until like 7:15 and to the office until like 8:15. Worked on my stuff, did my meeting, sat around (and did more work) and then went over to do sausage tasting for a research project. It wasn't much sausage so my friend and I went to get ice cream afterwards. Back to the office. I sent some emails and didn't really have a reason to stay so I headed home. Stopped by McD's for lunch (since I didn't have a real one).

So so so hot today. Really sapped my energy on the ride home, so I was quite slow. Was not keeping up with ebikes. At home I lay in bed for a while. Came downstairs with the intent of working on my DnD campaign (I cancelled today's session since I wasn't sure when the funeral would be, ends up its tomorrow) but just listened to music and read stuff instead. Anyway I'm so tired, probably because of the meds. So I'm gonna go to bed.

RS Greatest Emo Albums: 38-35

A continuation of this project I started. Putting 4 together this time because why not. No real themes as far as I am aware of to bind these together and not much pre-music commentary to make so off we go.


The first album today, at number 38, is Intersections by Into It. Over It. (how fitting). Never heard of them before, apparently it's a one-man project (or at least was when this album was recorded)? Notably, it's the only album on the list from after 2008. And to be quite frank, one of the only ones released within 10 years of the article's publication in 2016. So that's interesting since the article is otherwise lacking emo revival/fourth wave representation (the album from 2008 is also revival iirc). On to the album itself though.

Liking this album so far (which checks out, I like midwest emo). "New North-Side Air" has some cool instruments. I'm quite digging "A Curse Worth Believing", especially the beginning. But like the layered vocals are cool (and sounding like a noisy Death Cab song isn't a bad thing). Liking "Upstate Blues" a lot too. Really fun guitars, the loud-quiet dynamic and I love the line "If misery loves company than what does that make me?" cause I'm cringe (end fades into the next song really well too. Love a good transition). Speaking of that next song, the build up for "No Amount of Sound" is great. No idea what the song is about though. "A Pair of Matching Taxi Rides" is also awesome. The guitars (there's some real noisey/fuzzy ones that remind me of some of the sounds I was experimenting with for Ghelded Kultz 10 years ago, before this album came out even) and the way it changes over the song. "Your Antique Organ" is a softer song (on an already soft album) but there's some really cool instrumentation in the background. Another great song overall. And is the last song ("Contractual Obligation") a break up song? I love break-up songs, plus it just sounds fun and has a lot going on (I do love layered vocals). Also the lines "The look of your name is such an eyesore" and "Today I walked alone for the first time/Reclaimed the finer brick from your fault lines" are big mood.

Yeah I like this album. Unsurprising. I like midwest emo, I like indie rock, I like twinkly guitars, I like noise. Plus I've apparently liked other projects this guy is in (like Pet Symmetry). Good choice Rolling Stone.


Album number 2 (well 37) is one I know quite well, Indian Summer's Science 1994. I think I first listened to it in 2017, maybe 2018? Point is, I've known it for a long time. So some fun facts about this album. In true punk fashion, it's actually a compilation album of all (or at least most of) their prior work. The names of the songs on bandcamp are completely different than what they are normally known by and I'm pretty sure none of the songs have official titles (though they do have well known ones). Since it was only a dollar on bandcamp and I love this album, that's what I'll be using. I'll need notes to align the track names though.

"I think your train is leaving" ("giving") starts soft but has really good build up and riffs. Also I can only assume that the lyrics are entirely literal. "Touch The Wings Of An Angel... Doesn’t Mean You Can Fly" ("birth") has an awesome riff. I really like the staticky quality at the beginning of "Aren't you Angel" ("thunder"), in a way it almost reminds me of Daniel Johnson. Also that song uses dynamics so well (and screams). "Waiting" ("by") is just awesome when it gets all quiet for a second as the singer says "killer" and then goes into an almost metallic repetitive riff (which almost reminds me of Big Black). 

And then we get to "Angry Son" ("sleeping"). This is the song that introduced me to Indian Summer and it is just wonderful. The quiet start with spoken word lyrics. Just perfection when the loud guitar comes in. A driving bass in the background (sounds like something from Low of all bands. Almost like it was ripped out of "Lullaby"). And an iconic ending with a record playing in the background (same as the beginning. As much as I love Origami Angel, this is how samples should be done since it really adds to the song. It's funny, I'm not much one for noodling and long songs, but some of my favorite songs in general are really long, even self indulgent. "Diamond Sea" by Sonic Youth, "Do you know how to waltz?" and "Lullaby" by Low, "SexBomb" by Flipper and as I just mentioned "Angry Song" all would count.

"Orchard" ("with") has a really cool riff all through it and the chorus is deliciously noisy. As usual "Sugar Pill" ("his") has a great build-up and the screams of "pills" abound in a good way. The bass on "Reflections On Milkweed" ("daughter") is also so great, especially how it interplays with the guitar (both in twinkle and noise mode). 

While I'm glad that this album made the list, 37 is much too low. It's not just a historically important album (well sort of. Indian Summer was important, the album was released well after their heyday but all the songs were already there), it's a great album. Every song is great (even the ones I didn't mention), "Angry Son" is literally one of the best emo songs of all time and few bands have done the loud-quiet dynamic and build ups better than Indian Summer. 

Have an 8bit cover of "Angry Son".


Number 36 on the list is Gatefold by Orchid. So the first real screamo/skramz album on the list (not that some of the prior ones didn't have good screams, Science 1994 for instance). 

Starts out very loud and creamy. Definitely faster/more hardcore than any of the albums so far (which checks out, Orchid was a powerviolence band). These songs are short too. I think I like "Loft Party" and "I wanna fight" switches between loud and less loud really well. End of "A Visit from Dr. Goodsex" is fun. I'm liking "We Love Prison" which is more typical of post-hardcore and less powerviolencey than other songs imo. The style switch in "Flip the Tapes" is cool and especially impressive seeing as the whole song is < 30s. "Tigers" is a masterpiece. It's slow compared to the rest of the album but the main riff is good and the lyrics are fun ("I make love in theory and touch myself in practice" is a banger of a line and the whole thing is making fun of intellectuals). Sound effects at the start of "Let's Commodify Sexuality" are great. The drum break/solo at the beginning of "Discourse of Desire" would be fun to sample for something. "None More Black" is good. 

This album is whatever. There's parts I like and I'm impressed how much can be fit in very short run times, but in the end it isn't really my style. Better than most grindcore though (all grindcore?).


Last album for this post, at number 35, is Coheed and Cambria's Good Apollo, I’m Burning Star IV, Volume One: From Fear Through the Eyes of Madness. Wait since when was Coheed and Cambria emo and the article even acknowledges that this is when they went really prog. I know that emo and prog aren't anathema to each other (lots of math rock in emo after all) but it still feels weird. I haven't listened to Coheed and Cambria since high school and even then it was a pretty rare occurrence (usually tied to pony music videos I think). But here we go I guess (also 70 minutes of sci fi rock opera? This better be amazing, else I'm going to die).

So it starts off with slow strings and a piano? I mean not my thing but the piano riff is cool enough I guess. Decent atmosphere? Not a big fan of "Always and Never". It's a nice little soft song but I prefer my falsettos screamed. Cool synths I guess (especially at the end)?  [At this point I change the playlist I'm using because I got the single version/music video version of the next song]. "Welcome Home" has a good riff but I prefer it before it goes electric. Not a fan of the vocals (cue the people who are like "but you love the Brave Little Abacus!" Yeah, that's why I don't like these vocals). Oh no, a solo while cellos (?) are plagiarizing "Kashmir". "Ten Speed" is whatever. More guitar wank but it isn't twinkly. "Crossing the Frame" has some crescendo/buildup which I like and a good bass. Still doesn't grab me all that much. "Writing Writer" is okay. My favorite part might be the bridge, since the drums, bass and synths are being cool. I think I actually like "Once Upon Your Dead Body". Good bass, good rhythm guitar and I am sort of actually listening to the lyrics. "The Suffering" is fine. I like the piano and the heys. "Mother May" is decent. 

And now onto the four 7 minute songs all called "Willing Well" (I can't stand prog). The start of "I" is good but then it's just a regular song (with a cool bass, tbf). Well a regular song that changes a bunch, but not really in a way I like. "II" has a nice bounce near the beginning but that's about it. And I guess I like how it sounds kind of jolly/upbeat (the first 2 minutes at least). Yeah I stop liking it after about that point, with some minor exceptions. "III" starts like "Event Horizon" (by Šyþed Pyklez, not Coheed and Cambria) but getting faster instead of slower. We had the same idea though. And then the songs diverge wildly ("Event Horizon" is better). Don't like where this is going 4 minutes in (the kinda start/stoppy section). I liked the end though. Same could be said about "IV", the outro is the best part. Might be one of my favorite parts of the album actually. 

It's not like this album is bad or anything. Didn't want to completely turn it off or anything. I can see why other people would like it. But I just don't vibe with it. And I'm annoyed that this took a spot on the list. Maybe the lyrics are emo (I didn't care to pay attention) but musically it isn't at all. Unlike Love and Death (which I complained about last time) I can't even think of a good reason for this being in the running for this list at all. I'm not saying it stole the spot from just got back from the discomfort... (it should have been on the list but no one knew about Brave Little Abacus in 2016, especially not the weirdos at Rolling Stone) but there's plenty of more deserving, actual emo albums. So I'm a bit miffed. I've heard their first (and to lesser extent second) album actually is pretty post-hardcore/emo so maybe that would have been a better inclusion. But alas.


Well six albums in and only three were unambiguously emo. Not a great start to this list. Two were sort of emo (and definitely associated with emo in pop culture so the inclusion makes enough sense) and one I don't get how it made the list at all. Looking forward to the next set, which has some bands I've heard of and some I haven't but even the ones I've heard of I don't think I've listened to the albums. So that should be fun. 

Wednesday, July 26, 2023

Dog Days 1-3

Yes, I know the dog days started earlier this month but it's been hot so give me my artistic license.Monday I had an excuse for not writing, but yesterday I was just lazy. Anyway, a recap.

Since our shower is broken, I went to my office early to shower at the gym. Figured I might as well run before that so I did a 45 minute run. Listened to just got back... for the first time and I've listened to it like twice since. It's amazing, I love this band so much. No wonder they have such good scores on Rate Your Music. Spent most of Monday working on tables and other things for Tuesday's meeting. Went to FHE (which was a hot like 7 mile bike ride away) at the Nature Conservatory and saw some old mounds, a spring and a very nice view of the prairie. Got a ride back to my office and then worked some more until like 11. Went home, at a quick dinner and went to bed.

Got up early Tuesday once again to shower (and to finish what I was working on Monday). Had my meeting and got new tasks. Then I sat around waiting for my appointment. The appointment went well, took like 2 hours. Very interrogated but in a good way. My assessment was agreed with, so I guess my BD 2 diagnosis is official now. Was prescribed the drug I thought I would be as well. I am afraid that I maybe I stressed the camping trip too much but that's just me second guessing myself I think. I was clearly hypomanic (I think) and that effectively rules out unipolar depression. Diagnosis is hard. After the appointment I went to help a friend move apartments. Then I went home and just kinda lay around because it was a tiring day. Should've done more work, but I didn't. Didn't even get around to folding my clothes. I think I did play the bass though. Can't remember. 

Today I got up early to go running. Did that and had breakfast at my friend's apartment afterwards. Then I went to the gym and showered. Had lunch with friends, on my way out I realized I lost my office key at the gym. Went back to the office, worked a bit and then played Catan. Went to the gym and then headed over to the Union for free ice cream followed by the library to look for old census records for work. I found the ones we were looking for and now know what maps we need. Not as great as I hoped but should be able to give us something. I can handle the geocoding and stuff. Then went to help my friend finish moving for a bit and then off to the pharmacy to pick up my drugs. Made dinner at home (no institute today), folded laundry, finished Unicorn Warriors Eternal and two more episodes of Cowboy Bebop. Did this. 

Need to write some emails and finish my tables tomorrow morning before my meeting, so there's that. Yet another early day. I'm exhausted right now. Probably a side effect of the drug (as the pharmacist said), though spending 16, 12 and 12 hours away from home for the past 3 days probably hasn't helped. I live a busy life. I feel fine otherwise and have been sleeping through the night.

Sunday, July 23, 2023

Nauvoo Trip and some more (Summer Days 29-33 or something)

I've been really busy (or at least coming home late when I'm home at all) and lazy. I won't cover everything, just the important stuff.

I had a bunch of meeting Wednesday, along with running and institute. I also went to donate blood but was still slightly anemic. I'll try once more before my trip. Got a t-shirt though. Institute was fine. Got home late and didn't bother folding my clothes (my clothes remain unfolded so I'll do that after this).

Thursday's big event was watching Barbie and Oppenheimer (Oppenheimer first). I went to the office to do work (and get a ride to the movies...I took the bus and everything) but ended up having to go home fairly soon because new/old roommate was moving in a day earlier than expected. So I ended up biking to the movies. Both were very good. Oppenheimer is the better movie but Barbie was very fun even if it dragged on a bit near the end (and quite frankly, Ken's storyline doesn't really feel resolved). Ken's song should get Best Original Song as the Oscars next year. It also needs a midwest emo cover ASAP. Like yeah the 80s rock/ballad style fits better with Ken's personality but those lyrics scream emo. 

I had a bunch of meetings Friday morning so I went to the office to do those before heading back home. Packed and then took the bus to the church (three transfers!) for Nauvoo. Rode in a car with a bunch of new people, almost all of whom are real into DnD so we talked a lot about that. The rout we took went through a whole bunch of back roads, which was weird. Between that and dinner, we didn't arrive until after 11. Played a bit of cards and then went to bed. 

I got up a little before 6 so that I could shower before my 8am initiatory appointment. Wasn't the first person up, but was pretty close. Got dressed and then caught a ride with the other person who had the same idea (we're both social misanthropes, which is something we've bonded over quite a bit). Wandered around the temple grounds while listening to Low's "The Lamb" since that's a very appropriate song for the circumstances. Nauvoo is one of my favorite temples honestly. They don't build them like this anymore. Went in, printed names, saw Joseph Smith's sword (which was a family artifact before whoever inherited it gave it to the church), did initiatories for the first time in like over 5 years. I'd forgotten the blessings associated with it so that was a nice reminder of my potential. Five names goes pretty fast so I was done by 8:20 or so and out the door by about 830. Walked back to where we were staying (a little less than a mile and luckily on a flat surface). Played the blue, out of tune street piano a bit on my way back. Changed into my civilian clothes and then went with my car to explore. First we went to the old cemetery (which is apparently newer than the pioneer cemetery) and then down to old town. We checked out the Browning shop (which was new for me), the tin shop and watched some dancers before heading back to our place to get ready for endowments. I had already decided I wasn't doing a session (once again, a good choice) but did get talked into doing baptisms, the first I'd done in 4.5 years. It could have gone smoother. I forgot about confirmations so after changing out of my wet clothes, I just walked out through a non-descript side exit and had to do the walk of shame through the main entrance back to the baptistry. But the ordinances themselves were good. Even with pictures, we still got back before the endowment people. Changed into civilian clothes again and we decided as a group to go to Carthage before the rush. I rode over. I'd done Carthage before so it was whatever. On the ride over and back I talked about life with previously mentioned misanthropic friend. I ended up telling her about Her and how I was sort of engaged, which was a story she'd been waiting like 3 weeks to hear (I mentioned at a party that I had experiencing seducing rich people but that the party wasn't the time to tell it). 

Get back to the house and then walk to the visitor's center with a few people (and finally got more context on the question. At least I can safely say that I accept the answer now. That didn't take too long). Ran into another person and so it was the five of us for the rest of the night. After doing the scavenger hunt at the visitor's center and getting bricks, we headed back for dinner but decided to just buy rice bowls instead. Over the course of all this, we talked about all sorts of things including how we definitely were a group of side characters in whatever tv show we're in, my thoughts on anarchism which are probably pretty illogical but have good vibes, and cults. After dinner we went to the pageant area but it was before anything started so we walked over to the Smith family graveyard and sat for a while there. The marsh was very pretty (4.5 star marsh) and I bird watched a bit (saw a heron) while listening to Low's Double Negative since that seemed very appropriate and isolating. Of course that meant I didn't realize when people were trying to talk to me, lol. I left the group (more people were coming to the site and while I like the people in that group, I didn't want to be in a crowd) and started down the river. Ended up running into Bishop and his wife and talked to them for a bit. By that point the rest of my group caught up and we walked along the river and admired the sunset before heading over to the pageant. I didn't want to do the pageant so I just walked back to the house (up a hill and playing the piano on the way, of course). Hung out at the house and got asked more about my life by the other person who didn't want to go to the pageant (while she also vented to me about a bunch of things). That was a really hard (open ended) question to answer. Around 9:30 walked back to the temple. After waiting for it to light up (the signal that the pageant was going to end) I headed over to the piano and started playing it (I decided to work on learning "Wine, Women and Song" because that's a good one for a very out of tune piano) since I thought it would be funny to play piano in the dark as people passed by. Well not many people passed by, in fact it was basically just people from the ward. The first was the couple I'd been hanging out with earlier and they found it very funny and on brand that the random person playing piano in the dark was me. I didn't go back with them though because I didn't want to cockblock. Next group was the other half of the group I'd been with earlier (plus some others) and I went with them. They also thought it was funny. I should also mention that both groups had actually guessed that the person was me, from off in a distance. Anyway got back, showered and went to sleep. Well, lay in bed wanting to go to sleep. 

Fell asleep by 1 and was already awake by like 4:45. Stayed in bed half asleep until like 5:55 though. Then I got up, stripped the bed, got dressed and ate breakfast. Helped with other clean up stuff and my car left around 7:10 (we were one of the last because we helped). It's 4.5 hours to Madison and we were at the church by like 11:30...so we went fast. I slept like the whole car ride. Well maybe 3 hours of it. Was dead tired in sacrament meeting. Took attendance for Elder's quorum and then skipped out on the rest of it. Got a ride home with someone else who was tired and skipping 2nd hour. Got home, learned that we can't use the shower due to a leak and took a nap. Then just worked on various things all afternoon and evening I guess. Played bass (I can do "Where is my mind" pretty much b memory; also worked on natural harmonics). Did the dishes. Cooked two dinners (I didn't really have lunch and breakfast was tiny but that was still pretty excessive). Finally got around to listening to Brave Little Abacus and have decided they are the only non-Šyþed Pyklez/Ghelded Kultz band that actually have the shithe spirit (oh last night I also admitted that I still write songs and sometimes they relate to my feelings). Not wanting fans to pay for music, being noisy and experimental and singing poorly and so forth. Still better musicians and lyricists though. And now I'm writing this and not folding my laundry because it's late and I have a very long and busy day tomorrow.

I've felt pretty good these last few days, but in a non manic way. A nice change from the last ward trip. I have my appointment on Tuesday and finished the paperwork Friday. I'm really hoping that I can express myself well and start to get help. I'm fine now (and have been for a month, contextual week feeling bummed out aside), but I was fine in May too and all regular readers now how that turned out. Saturday was genuinely one of the nicest, happiest days I've had in a while (and no uncontrollable crying and depression afterwards!). I was a normal person (emotionally, at least). I think I actually do feel peace at the temple. Whodathunk?