And so the year ends as it began, depressed in a relative's house I don't particularly want to be at. On the bright side, I feel like this is the most depressed I've been since June, so I guess the medicine has been working even if I often feel like its not (and I think this episode should pass pretty quickly. The more minor episode in like October/early November did). In retrospect, I should've caught this sooner, but I guess I didn't notice my declining interest/motivation in everything because it's the holidays and I passed my proposal defense so I was allowed a few weeks off.
Despite the similarity of circumstances, I'm facing in a very different direction than I was last year. I actually made good on a number of resolutions I made in despair at the beginning of the year. I'm one major step closer to finishing my degree (still like 2 years to go though). I was a lot more social and I'm glad for it. I went off and did things I wanted to do, rather than trying to be what I thought other people wanted me to be. And most importantly, I got help both spiritually and emotionally. It was a good year, overall, even if there were a lot of times it really didn't feel that way.
From here, what will I do? Well, I need to finish Fishing for Birds. I need to write some grants. I need to start heavy duty data analysis and submit something to IRB. But this blog isn't about work (except when it is). 2024 is the year when I really need to start putting myself back on the meat market again. I know I said that at the beginning of this year and to a small extent I did. I made important steps (including actually going on a couple dates in Jakarta just to see if I could. I hate the getting to know each other stage) even if I didn't start any relationships. Despite the question technically being open again, I don't feel that's the right path to follow but I'll figure something out. So there's one big goal for this upcoming year, along with everything else I need to do. Another of course is staying on the healthier path I've been going down.
Oh and I need to post my damn photos from my trip so that people stop asking about them
