Continuing on

No the other shoe hasn't dropped yet. My reinvestments (mostly in safe things, but also in some fun penny stocks) have been doing decent (to great, I chose the right day to invest in lithium apparently). We had a second date (still don't know how she really feels but I think a second date is a good sign?). Did less on spring break than I should've (made some good food though). Things are still going well. In a way, this feels like the best my life has been going, for the longest streak, in quite a while. But that's probably the medicine helping me actually see the good in life. A few short and minor setbacks aside (which are expected) they've been working quite well.

Don't actually know why I'm writing right now. To assuage my guilt about not doing anything ever?

e: And I guess to say that I was described as having a mild reality warping presence today and yeah honestly I do. That and a leadership aura.

It's Spring Again

Popping in to say that I'm doing well. In fact, the last few weeks have been some of the best in a while. Did well enough in some interviews to get an internship offer for the summer. So that will be doubling my income (I'll send half of the extra to a vacation fund and the other half to my fun money account). Made a tidy sum on the reddit IPO (sold at 56, so right near the peak Didn't sell all my shares but did sell enough that after accounting for taxes and tithing, I'll have made a ~$250 profit even if my remaining shares go to zero), which I'll reinvest next week (eventually I want to start doing wheel strategies to generate relatively safe annual returns but I need options permission first and more cash). I went on a date the other day, making headway into answering the question (don't know the full answer, but she likes me enough for a dinner evidentially). Even my birthday was nice.

So I guess what I'm saying is that I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop.

New Years Eve 2023

And so the year ends as it began, depressed in a relative's house I don't particularly want to be at. On the bright side, I feel like this is the most depressed I've been since June, so I guess the medicine has been working even if I often feel like its not (and I think this episode should pass pretty quickly. The more minor episode in like October/early November did). In retrospect, I should've caught this sooner, but I guess I didn't notice my declining interest/motivation in everything because it's the holidays and I passed my proposal defense so I was allowed a few weeks off.

Despite the similarity of circumstances, I'm facing in a very different direction than I was last year. I actually made good on a number of resolutions I made in despair at the beginning of the year. I'm one major step closer to finishing my degree (still like 2 years to go though). I was a lot more social and I'm glad for it. I went off and did things I wanted to do, rather than trying to be what I thought other people wanted me to be. And most importantly, I got help both spiritually and emotionally. It was a good year, overall, even if there were a lot of times it really didn't feel that way. 

From here, what will I do? Well, I need to finish Fishing for Birds. I need to write some grants. I need to start heavy duty data analysis and submit something to IRB. But this blog isn't about work (except when it is). 2024 is the year when I really need to start putting myself back on the meat market again. I know I said that at the beginning of this year and to a small extent I did. I made important steps (including actually going on a couple dates in Jakarta just to see if I could. I hate the getting to know each other stage) even if I didn't start any relationships. Despite the question technically being open again, I don't feel that's the right path to follow but I'll figure something out. So there's one big goal for this upcoming year, along with everything else I need to do. Another of course is staying on the healthier path I've been going down. 

Oh and I need to post my damn photos from my trip so that people stop asking about them

Quick Update

So yeah, I haven't kept of with this. I've been busy working, busy preparing for my trip and busy running and camping, among other things. I'll talk a bit about this past weekend though.

We leave for Michigan Thursday afternoon and get to the campsite well after dark. Don't even bother setting up tents and just sleep on tarps under the stars. We get registered around 6 in the morning with our first runner off at 6:30. After that we decorated our car and figured out how everything was working. My first run went well. It was 6 miles and I did it at around a 8:47 pace (more or less. My timer gave 8:49 but I got held up near the beginning by cars), which is possibly my best pace ever for that distance. I also passed 3 people during it, which felt great. My second leg was supposed to be 3.2 miles but I picked up the ghost runner's 3.1 mile leg to do a 6.3 mile run. My pace then was somewhere between 9:07-9:12 which is pretty normal for my 10k. Need to get that down a bit, I think 8:30 is my next goal. Passed one person and got passed by another. My final leg was 7.6 miles and started strong. I kept about a 9 minute pace on the flat section but after about 4 miles I was getting noticeably slower. And the hills were very tiring. My final pace ended up being about 9:44. I did get 5 kills thanks to that fast start and only 1 death. 

All along the way I got to see many cool sites and parks. Michigan (at least western/northern Michigan) is really pretty this time of year. Saw lots of sand dunes and beaches and the like. After the race, I went up to the UP with some of the other runners and we camped for a couple days. Actually had near perfect conditions to see the northern lights...except that it was rainy and cloudy when the solar storm hit. Oh well. It was a really fun trip; I hiked a lot and got to know these people better (though I already knew them well, we camp a lot). 

Anyway, I gotta get going. After packing my bags (almost 30 pounds, though a decent portion of that is snacks or things I'll send once I get to Jakarta. My actual clothing is like 7 or 8 pounds) I think I'm ready for this next adventure. And if I'm not, well oh well.

Tuesday thru Friday in Mid September

It's not even that I've been busy, it's that I'm lazy.

Uhh key things from the past few days? DnD went well, though the party took longer to do things, I kept getting screwed by the dice rolls (and having to improvise things on the spot...they ended up meeting a myconid village and destroying a lich's phylactery because of that...probably should figure out how to incorporate said Lich into the campaign) so I had to rush the actual plot point I wanted to do. At least the foundations are in place for the sea dungeon I've been planning for a while. I've gotten some new records. Backed some kickstarters (okay just like one new one). I've been avoiding work a bit too much. I met an Indonesian economist and an Indonesian who works here on campus. I've not gotten the car's new plates. I've been thinking a lot about my place in the universe? I still need to find those Flores guide books and finish planning that part of the trip. 

Oh and running. The race is next week and my runs this week have turned out good. Conditions have been quite nice, but I did a 5k with a 7:53-8:00 pace (depending on how you count waiting for cars at intersections) which was my summer goal. Felt like dying but I should be able to do my 3.5 mile leg at an 8:30 pace. And today I took my night running equipment out for a spin on the 8.756 mile loop, which I did in just under 80 minutes, meaning my pace was somewhere between 9:04 and 9:07. Most impressive is that the second half of the loop was only a tad slower (maybe 20 seconds) than the first half, so I kept that pace very consistently. Left me exhausted, unsurprisingly, but not necessarily dead like the 5k did. Anyway, my pace goal for the long legs is 9:30 which should be pretty sustainable seeing that I did a longer distance than either of them much faster than that. Now to review my legs and set up playlists to help me pace. 

Yeah that's me right now. I should go to bed.

Ahh I'm so late

Between a terrible sleep schedule (basically all my fault), internet problems and other such things, I've been not keeping a diary well. So here's just the important things in no particular order.

DnD was like 90% improv and now the Empire and the Merchants' Guild hate our adventurers. 

We had an office potluck on Friday which I was sort of in charge of and in the end it went well (even if there were way more people than expected). I made misir wat for it, which turned out amazingly. As part of that, I made my own niter kibbeh and berbere, got a spice grinder (since I have so many whole spices now). I also made timatim for the ward potluck, which I called "Ethiopian Salsa" because that's how I roll.

It's cooled down a lot, which is nice. I've still been doing some running and also some very fast biking to work on cardio/endurance. In fact, I did a ride the other day to a game night where I average like 4:10 per mile (and that's with stops). Maps said plan for 45 minutes and I did it in like 33. Legs have been assigned for Ragnar and I'll be doing the last shift (which is like the 3rd longest/hardest). 17.5 miles. Then I'm gonna go camping with the other grad students on the trip up in the UP. Get home Tuesday and then basically go right into prepping for my trip, since I leave that Thursday. 

Speaking of my trip, I've gotten my flights mostly figured out and a couple different hostels booked. I still need to contact the place in Tentena for more information about transport (and booking a guide for Lore Lindu), figure out Tanah Toraja (but finding a hostel should be pretty easy) and basically figure out all my bus/housing issues in Flores. Also find a place for my suitcase in Jakarta. I'm still mostly winging this trip, which should be exciting and also very stressful (in a good way). Finally, Walgreens has been really slow at filling my vaccine order but when I called today the robot said it should be ready by tomorrow.

Speaking of tomorrow, I need to get up early to do laundry, finish up dishes and do some work before going to lunch and then coming back to finish planning our session (it's exploration but I also want to use it to forward one of my plot threads). So a busy day, especially since I'm behind on work and need to get a presentation ready by next Monday (though the full presentation isn't needed for another two weeks).

Finally, the other big events of the past week. On Friday, an investigator (this one) texted me asking if I'd say the closing prayer at his baptism. After the baptism he sent out a very nice text to everyone who participated saying that he invited us to be part of the ceremony because we were all important in his faith journey. Then I woke up the next day to a text from the missionaries saying that he wanted me to confirm him. Which was a huge honor (and I even ironed a shirt and wore a suit coat for it) but very scary. Unlike basically every other blessing, this one is public and that makes me very self conscious. But I did it and while it was a bit of a struggle at first, by the end words that felt right were flowing out. So I hope he appreciated it. Anyway, that was the last Sunday that Bishop is bishop (next week is stake conference and the week after that he's being released) and since I will be gone until the end of October (due to camping after the race) I really need to reach out and thank him for being a great bishop. 

Two final things. After the baptism I was talking with people and the concert we were all planning to go to was cancelled. Which somehow turned into a discussion of karaoke and me hosting karaoke night...that night. Which I did. I had a two computer set up (one connected to the tv and one for adding songs to the playlist) and it was a lot of fun. I even got to hook up my computer to my new speakers (after a bit of struggle). And today, while heading home, I saw a kingfisher. First it was flying and then it went into a tree and then it took off as I was trying to get a picture. I love kingfishers, too bad they are so hard to photograph. 

Last notes. Like I said, I've been sleeping pretty poorly. Well the sleep is fine, I've just been going to bed way too late and either getting up early or oversleeping. So not a great schedule. I do wonder if I'm (mildly) hypomanic right now or have been recently. That feeling of wanting to be productive and not sleep (though I feel tired in a way that I didn't get at say the camp out). Being really antsy/agitated. But not really euphoria or even irritation/anger (I think?). Nor am I anxious (maybe because I have nothing to be anxious about...ever since getting an answer to the question I've been avoiding thinking about those sorts of social situations). So who knows.

Labor Day and Pre-Fall Day 1

So for Labor Day I went out to a local state park to climb (in prep for the competition next week). It was good climbing and thanks to shade and a breeze (plus low humidity) it didn't feel nearly as hot as it could have. Still have a lot to get better at, but whatever. Also I need to sign up for the comp. Other than that, not much to say. My arms and legs got both banged up from climbing and very bitten by mosquitos (which has been annoying all of today).

As for today, I got up and had a fairly ordinary morning. Went to the library to return the charger but they were closed for meetings. Helped my sister's roommate and her dad move furniture up to their apartment. Chatted with people in the office, sent off some emails and then went home. Meant to work on DnD but instead slept. Then panicked, found some enemies for various different adventures but had no idea what adventure to run so I decided to leave that to the party. They chose the one I was least prepared for (especially enemy wise) so we had a very talky session where I ad-libbed a whole bunch of stuff. It was funny because it was probably the three least diplomatic characters trying to do this diplomacy heavy session without starting a fight with either of the factions they were running messages between. And after that I cleaned up and made it to here.

I've felt really tired this last while. Dunno why. It's not just lack of energy from doing too much, I think.